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We Walked Home in Silence

by Jason Anderson

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1.
You Fall 04:05
there’s no trampoline parachute safety net hot air balloon bungie cord swimming pool faded gym mats man inflatable castle no heathcliff float no rescue boat no braided rope swing no safety ladder no flight simulator no elevator, no no elbow pads - and no knee pads no pegs no grips - no pillow no clumped together sand - no solid land no invisible disguise nowhere left to hide there is nothing
2.
The Hopeful 04:03
the ferris wheel looks like a bronze plate people on the pier form a parade the boardwalk’s a cabaret a menagerie of the barefoot the guilty the lucky the hopeful, the unafraid we couldn’t get it out of our heads until the morning that song that we just kept on singing and i wasn’t even wasted but i felt like i was drinking we couldn’t seem to shake that song
3.
rode my bike home after dawn the sunrise felt abrasive like after a dance when they turn the gym lights on under bridges over cracks hard to keep pedaling when all i want to do is pedal back we drove east out to see on a life guard chair in a borrowed jacket and the moon like a swollen tangerine six months ago almost to the day it was weird to think how much was different and how much was exactly the same on the trip back i remember saying to myself "our town looks cute," and then instantly thinking this will never be our town fell asleep at six a.m. it felt like twenty hours but when i woke up it was only ten wish i slept into the past maybe wind your watches backwards, honey our timing's off and i feel like i lost it now
4.
back to boston this morning back to new england and a truer autumn than this i want it brisk and cold i want to know i am home in the sweet arms of the northeast and the sweet arms of my friends who find me alive, and in love with it all so back to boston this afternoon driving these roads i know so well driving slow along the pike and driving slow the way to arlington back to boston at night back to boston it’s alright, it’s just OK back to boston right now, it’s OK and it’s perfect this way back to boston this morning back to new england and a truer autumn than this i want it brisk and cold i wanna know i’m home in the sweet arms of the northeast and the sweet arms of my friends who find me alive, and in love with it all
5.
when we met at the post office my friends were still at the bar and i felt a little guilty walking right past their parked car see i hadn't gone to bed which is where i said i'd be but i had to see you, i think we both needed to see what would happen sitting on a bench outside that locked up pharmacy we were listening to flags clack against flag poles so cold my teeth were chattering i found it hard to look at your face and it killed me how our knees kept touching if we can't have it all can't we at least have something 'cause the feeling last summer was confusing as hell windows and doors and carpeted floors some nights it was hard to tell where the day would begin and the evening would end so we'd stay up all afternoon so we could feel it all again with the best kind of insomnia we felt everything, we felt alive how the tree branches reached in your room how we sat so still like stills from goodnight moon your arms heavy and weighted like an orthodontist's x-ray apron you told me to stay, and i remained and something like a promise was made something like a promise, summer i will wait for you and i always will so we walked home in silence and stood in front of your car you got in and rolled the windows down turned the radio on and me i started driving, last one on the road and i said where we going, and you said just go

about

Songs of hope and hesitation,
all winter scope and summer nights.

credits

released February 5, 2021

Written & Performed by Jason Anderson

featuring:

Chris Bloniarz - Vocals, Programming, Synth Pad
Sabine Ndalamba - Lead Guitar
Jeff LaRochelle - Saxophone
Nice Levine - Pedal Steel
Holly McGarry - Vocals
Max Somerville - Piano and Keyboards
Willem Systma - Bass

Mixed by Thomas Wincek
Mastered by Justin Perkins at Mystery Room Mastering

Artwork by Jocelyn Anderson

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Jason Anderson New Brunswick

Singer, songwriter, etc.

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